Cheap Regrets: 2020

It was a year. It wasn’t all bad. I’m glad it’s over. Here’s a reflection as well as some of the things I enjoyed in 2020.

For my rolling playlist of liked songs that came out in 2020, I just decided to keep the title of the first song I put in there. This year it was “Cheap Regrets” by The Districts and that sort of fits. The other option put in the same day, I think, was “The Alarmist” by Pinegrove. Probably a better choice?

A quick personal reflection

Looking back 2020 doesn’t seem as bad as I’m sure it did while in the moment. The biggest feeling I have towards it and believe me, I feel privileged and very lucky to say this—is that I felt bored and trapped. It could have been a hell of a lot worse. I was able to work and work well. My family and I are healthy. The kids probably had it worse than anyone, but they all seem mostly ok. I’m glad it’s over but grateful to have made it through healthy and mostly happy. A lot of the credit for all of that goes to my partner, Kerri. Our wedding was just before all the shit hit the fan, and while it wasn’t always easy, our first year was reassuring and filled with more love, laughter, and good times than I ever would have expected.

2020 in music

The lack of live music in 2020 really messed with my music discovery plans. I was all fired up and getting ready to build my SXSW plan when things were called off. I think I saw one show in 2020, and while it was awesome—IDLES and Fontaines DC—it was nowhere near enough. No live music might have been my lowlight of 2020. I hope we can get that back soon and that all the venues, the small indie bands, and the hosts of people that support them make it through alright.

Speaking of, take a minute and check our Save Our Stages, and if you’re in a position to, think about helping them out.

I recently went through and listened to the music I’d discovered in 2020. A few old favorites came back around this year. I’ve already mentioned The Districts, they had quite a few tracks make it into my playlist. Hell, “Cheap Regrets” is in there twice with the Porches remix! Gorillas put out a ton of fun stuff. The Cribs latest, Night Network was a nice surprise. Fleet Foxes new one, Joywave had some killer hits, Albert Hammond Jr, HAIM.

And, of course, The New Abnormal from The Strokes is one of my favorites of the year. Have you seen the crazy, cool video for “At The Door”?

While there might not have been as many standouts as a “normal” year but there were a few. My current favorite, Impossible Weight by Deep Sea Diver, is fantastic. Here are a few more.

The Weeknd brought some serious 80s vibe in 2020. He wasn’t the only one but was probably one my favorites, with some killer singles and a great album.

Not many had a better year than Phoebe Bridgers. Punisher is top-notch. But she really got me with the Copycat Killer versions she released, I love them.

Probably my favorite new to me (thanks to a tip from my brother) artist is the sax-rock-dance-party band Melt Yourself Down. Their 2020 release 100% Yes is awesome. They remind me a whole lot of 90’s Seattle scene darlings Critters Buggin, and their legends on the saxophone, Skerik.

The last show I saw in 2020 was IDLES and Fontaines DC. Both of whom put out killer albums this year. Ultra Mono might have been my most played album of 2020 and if it wasn’t it was top 3.

2020 in Books

While I didn’t reach my reading challenge of 75 books and read less than last year, I still read a lot in 2020, mostly escapist fiction as I found myself really struggling to focus and keep momentum with pretty much everything else, especially earlier in the year. I blame American politics and culture coupled with a lack of imagination on my part leading to a lot of doom-scrolling.

Here are the new books I really loved.

• Gideon The Ninth and Harrow The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. These were probably my favorites this year. They’re a nearly perfect mix of an interesting and crazy premise with likable, relatable characters who grow and change in meaningful ways. They’re also just bonkers. Really fun read.

• The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin. A super weird and super entertaining tale about a Cthuluian takeover of New York City.

• Foundryside and Shorefall by Robert Jackson Bennett. Fast-paced, character-driven fantasy set in a steampunk world where magic is sort of like computer programming.

• The Trouble With Peace by Joe Abercrombie. Gritty, violent, and complex fantasy from one of the new masters and an amazingly talented writer.

Most of the books I read this year just sort of seem so-so to me. Hopefully, 2021 is better.

2020 in Television

There’s much less for me to say here. Surprisingly I didn’t watch that much TV this year, and a lot of what I did watch doesn’t really stand out. A few things that do:

• Ted Lasso. Perfect.

• The Mandalorian. Loved it. I’m not a Star Wars junky, but I was a huge fan when I was a kid (I saw A New Hope in theatres when I was about seven or so) and The Mandalorian comes the closest to how I remember Star Wars as a kid.

• The Flight Attendant. Kerri and I binged this one last weekend. It’s a dark humor murder mystery that was pretty much perfect for us at the time and kind of felt like it hit all the right notes at the right times.

• Lovecraft Country. I thought this show was so cool and interesting. I really enjoyed how they mixed Lovecraftian horror and sci-fi with day-to-day living and historical events. And, of course, the big old “fuck you” to Lovecraft was fun.

• Raised by Wolves. I really enjoyed this, even though the kid, Campion, reminded me of Sally from Mad Men mixed with Atreyu and I couldn't stop thinking about it every time he came on screen.

2020 in Movies

I don’t have much. Does Hamilton count?

2020 in Video Games

I didn’t play a lot of video games this year, but I did spend a fair amount of time with a few that I think will go down as all-time favorites of mine.

• 🤯The Last of Us Part 2. Mind-blowing. I think I loved just about every moment of this game, with one major exception, which I’ll mention later. The Seattle arc was my most fun playing a video game in ages. I especially loved rolling around the aquarium, as I’ve spent so much time there IRL. Anyway, this is a classic in every way.

• ⛩️Ghost of Tsushima. I’m not sure if I liked this better than The Last of Us Part 2, but it was damn close. The game is fantastic, the story solid and the…cinematography (?) probably the best I’ve seen to date. I might have spent more time taking photos with Tsushima’s in-game camera than I did outside with my real cameras.

• 🔱Hades. I’m not really into rogue-likes but I’ve been very much enjoying this one.

• ⚔️Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. I’m playing this one right now and, aside from one thing, enjoying it quite a bit. I spent a lot of time with AC: Odyssey this year as well and enjoyed that too.

So, what did I not enjoy about most of the above games? Killing dogs. They should seriously build options into these games to turn that shit off or make it easier to avoid it.

Have a great New Year and here’s to a timeline for 2021 that’s better than 2020. 🎉

A Simple System for Planning The New Year

An overview of the system I use to plan and track my personal projects and growth.

I enjoy the yearly ritual of making plans, setting goals and intentions, resolutions, or whatever people do to kick off a new year. I find that, when I do a good job of reflection and planning, I start the year off on a positive foot that, sometimes, I can sustain and turn into a lot of positive action and growth.

But I tend to think, and plan, in much smaller blocks of time and I can’t sustain most plans for a full year. Maybe, more importantly, I don’t think most yearly goals really make much practical sense. So while it’s fun to lay out some ideas for what you want to accomplish in a year, I tend to focus on months and quarters and then try and map out how they might add up to something.

And, of course, there are years like 2020 that can ruin the best plans, so it’s best to be prepared for chaos.

IMO, the best way to approach a year is to focus on projects, actions, and habits, but I do start with some reflection and planning.

Plans instead of resolutions

I don’t generally do resolutions, theme words, or any of that, and I prefer my yearly plans to be concrete, measurable and within my means to achieve. That doesn’t mean I don’t have big goals or dreams, only that I try to avoid things that are overly fuzzy or impossible.

For me, laying out a structure for personal projects and growth is key. I need to do it or I won’t get anything on my “personal” list done. My work—my day job—takes up most of my time and energy, and I’ve got a whole separate process for managing that. Without personal planning, reflection, and a simple, easy structure, I’d probably be limited to fuck-this-shit-o’clock-and-play-video-games when I’m not working. Which wouldn’t be good for my personal life OR my work life, as my side-projects play a big part in my success at work. But that’s another post.

The new year is a meaningful break, but it’s also just a slightly special one of four quarters and one of twelve months to check in on things. Most of my yearly planning is reflection and intention and setting up a few goals, and projects to get out of the break on the best foot and ride it as far as I can.

I usually start big and break things down from there. I do better with structure and I find that a simple framework works pretty well for me and it fits just about anything I’m wanting to do.

A simple system

The harder any system is for me to use, the less likely I am to use it, and the more likely I am to be distracted and all over the place because I have no structure. So, I keep it simple and try to build habits around checking in with it. It goes like this:

1. I review, measure, and reflect

2. I define aspirations and goals

3. I devise plans and projects to support those aspirations and goals

4. I break those plans and projects down into actions

5. I work to develop habits that support everything

6. I review regularly

Not everything maps back to what’s above it, for example, I’ve got goals that aren’t connected to aspirations and habits that don’t support anything else, but they usually fit together.

I tend to revisit this loop once a month and once a quarter. I don’t really do weekly planning, as that’s too much with my day job and all the work that goes into planning there, but I do track things on a daily basis and that comes in handy when I take time to review everything.

Here’s a bit more about the individual pieces.

Aspirations

I like this word, but if you don’t like this word, feel free to skip on down to the “Goals” section, as it’s pretty much the same thing without all the high falutin shenanigans.

So yeah. Aspiration. It’s a fun word and I use it for the lofty, open-ended, or nebulous things I want to do; developing skills, difficult or lengthy goals, things that might require multiple goals, projects, and many actions. Big things. I’ve also tried to use it in place of “stretch goals” which seem almost purposely unattainable. Aspirations should be something doable, even if they’re a bit fuzzy. I like to keep things concrete, but we’re I to aspire to something a bit nebulous like “be exceptionally fit” it would go here. Of course, the more nebulous the aspiration, the more you’ll need to think about how to measure success. I’ve thought a lot about whether or not I even need both aspirations and goals, but find that they serve to push more than goals do, and there are some things I often want to work against that feel either too fuzzy to be a measurable goal or too lofty to achieve outright.

Another way to differentiate aspirations from goals is that they need to have a well-thought-out “why” attached to them. With a goal, I don’t always put as much thought into it. If I want to do it, that’s good enough, but if it’s something I want to put a lot of effort into, I want to make sure I spend some time thinking about why I want to do that.

Some examples: “become a published novelist”, is a good, concrete aspiration would that might be too big to be a simple goal. It’s tough but possible and easily measured. For a more nebulous aspiration something like “Build healthy eating habits” would work, just barely, as it’s pretty vague and a little hard to measure and track. It could work though because you could fold smaller, more measurable, goals, plans, and habits into it.

I like like to start out the year with a few of these, but I don’t spend much time working actively against them with projects and actions, preferring to focus down the chain on goals and projects. Also, they can be hard to come up with and harder to write.

Goals

Goals are similar to aspirations, but much more concrete, practical, and actionable. And, smarter, smaller, and very much doable within a yearly, or shorter, timeline. These are things I like to think I will, for sure, beyond any doubt get done. Assuming we don’t suffer a global pandemic or some other major disruption.

An example of a goal would be to “write a novel”. This is something I can probably do, yet isn’t as aspirational as getting all the way to publishing.

I will start out the year with a few of these, 2-3 or so, but I’ll add to them as the year goes on. For example, in 2020, I didn’t really have much to start with, and when March rolled around and the world shifted I sort of stopped thinking about all of my plans and aspirations for a while, picking them back up again around September.

Projects

The magic happens in projects. This is where the action is, where most of my efforts go. Projects lie at the center of most of what I want to do, smack in between my goals/aspirations and the tasks and habits. These break down goals a bit further into discreet chunks of work that can be planned, worked on, and completed.

An example of a project would be “write the first draft of a novel” or “prep for Nanowrimo”. They can be large or small but should be easy to measure and track progress against.

I generally try not to have many projects going on at the same time, maybe 3 max, but I do expect to have quite a few projects throughout the year. I don’t complete them all, but, generally, I expect to finish every project I start, even if the outcome isn’t what I’d like at the end. Assuming I’ve done my planning well (not as easy as it may sound) finishing my projects is probably the best measure I have for whether or not I’m on- or off-track with my goals and aspirations.

Actions

Actions and tasks are things you’ll need to do to get your projects done, these are tasks that usually role up to a project, but sometimes support goals or aspirations directly. This is the heart of how I try and get what I want out of my year. These are the actionable, trackable, daily, and weekly activities that build towards completed projects and goals and achieved aspirations.

I’ve got many of these. I try to start my projects with a good plan and tasks that support that plan.

Supporting habits

I treat these a bit differently to actions, as these should fit into some kind of cycle or routine and they don’t always line directly up into a project. For example, I’ve got habits I’m working on that support aspirations directly. In some ways, they’re more important than actions, and often I’ll want to work on building habits that support multiple goals or aspirations.

A good example of a habit might be “journal every day” and could map that to multiple writing or growth-related projects, goals, and aspirations.

Planning habits, and working to build and maintain them, is what helps me keep momentum towards goals while also limiting the active projects to a manageable level.

A bit of a side note: habits are also what made my 2020 somewhat of a good year for personal growth. (In addition to and enabled by excellent support, luck, and privilege.) It was very hard for me to focus on my projects or even daily and weekly actions, but I was able to build and maintain some habits that helped me channel energy into a few things here and there, and reflecting on it, I feel like it helped a lot.

So, there it is. I’ve been planning for the last several days and excited about some things I want to tackle in 2021. Hopefully, if you made it this far, there was something interesting or helpful in there for you too.

Impossible Weight by Deep Sea Diver

A futuristic throwback classic.

RIYL: Silversun Pickups, Wye Oak, The War on Drugs, Kate Bush, Hop Along

Impossible Weight, the third album from Seattle’s Deep Sea Diver is absolutely fantastic. It works as an album you can listen to the whole way through, or as a collection of singles you dip in and out of. It’s an expertly crafted grab bag of sonic gems with a little something for anyone.

So what does it sound like? Well, there’s a lot of variety in here, but, what stands out to me is the terrific guitar work and arrangement coupled with some phenomenal vocal work. Jessica Dobson, the driving force here, really shines, whether it’s her voice, her guitar work, or her songwriting and production, her presence weaves bright, unique threads all the way through, touching and guiding each track.

For a deeper dive into how the music is made, check out KEXP’s Isolated Tracks session with Jessica Dobson, for “Impossible Weight”. It’s a fun, geeky look into how it all comes together.

Speaking of KEXP, they’ve put Impossible Weight down as their number one of 2020, and I think that’s just fine in my book. It’s a classic, and one I expect to come back to over and over again.

Song notes:

“Shattering The Hourglass” - It’s pretty and feels like a straight-forward, but very well executed indie pop song. A beautiful track. Something in the vein of a Waxahatchee or Wye Oak.

“Lights Out” - Reminds me of Silversun Pickups, with the smooth vocals, the complicated rock instrumentation, and slow to speeding cadence. Fucking killer song, one I would love to hear live.

“Wishing” - A timeless quirk. Vocally reminiscent of Kate Bush, if you pushed her voice down an octave. An interesting structure, but catchy.

“Impossible Weight” - The second single, and probably the most conventional “hit”, as it seems like the most accessible song of the bunch, by a thin hair, as they’re all accessible. Sharon Van Etten’s vocals here play a fantastic counterpoint and, at the same time, compliment, to Jessica Dobson’s. There is also something unique and special going on in here, at first blush seems like a solid indie rock single, but (for me anyway) it grew into something really standout.

“Switchblade” - The first listen through it seemed a bit out-of-place with what came before. It’s moody, slow and kind of jazzy…almost. Bust upon further listens, I can see how it fits, as there are a lot of little details in here I missed the first time around.

“Hurricane” - Dobson’s vocals really shine in this one, and it’s another that feels a bit timeless; like it’d fit in many times and many places.

“Eyes Are Red (Don’t Be Afraid)” - This is probably my favorite type of pop-rock. It’s future-feeling and classic at the same time, feeling a bit like the title track for an obscure 70s sci-fi movie. This might sound corny, but it’s chill enough to be played in a hotel lobby or the elevator of a particularly hipster boutique hotel but also…rocks.

“People Come People Go” - A smooth groover. A summery disco-rock jam. Fun stuff.

“Lightning Bolts” - Similar in feel to “People Come People Go” with its slick rolling groove and funky beat.

“Run Away With Me” - An acoustic track where Dobson’s vocals and guitar work are on brilliant display. The feel of the track, as you might expect, is a departure, but as a way to close out, it really works well.

Building Confidence in Your Work

Unsolicited advice on how to build confidence as a designer, and how to build confidence in your work.

If you've ever talked to me about design work you might have heard me talk about how it's kind of like being a lawyer. You do a lot of research, ask a lot of questions and slowly, through whatever process you work with, you build a case.

Along with your case, you'll be building confidence. Your own confidence in your work and decisions, both individually and as you grow as a designer. Your team's confidence in you and your solutions. Your customer’s confidence in your company and products. Etc.

You'll need that confidence when you come to present your work, and you'll use it as you shepherd that work through to completion. You likely won't start with it, I know I rarely do. That's expected and it's perfectly normal and good.

There is no bulletproof way to de-risk design work. There is no such thing as the perfect design or a single best way to do something. On the early side of the design process, it can very much be about the subjective reaction to the work. That's an ok place to start. But as you go through the process, as you explore, workshop, iterate, test, and validate, you remove uncertainty and subjectiveness—you build your case. That's design. But there are some other things you should be doing along the way to make the process more effective and to build confidence in the work and in the process itself.

As someone who feels uncomfortable with not knowing things, and not feeling confident, I struggle with this. I started keeping this list to remind me that it's ok to feel that way, and there are things I can do to make that feeling go away, and at the same time, ensure the work is as good as I can make it. I think of it as kind of a reference for myself, and for others who, less rare than I would have ever expected, come to me for advice on things.

1. Get started. That's it, sometimes the biggest confidence builder you'll see on a project is the once you'll get just by doing that first step.

2. Share your early work. And then keep sharing. This can be a tough one, but regardless of how good you feel, and I know I usually feel pretty shaky at the start, you'll need to get outside opinion of your work to move it forward. I've found the best way to do that, and the best way to establish momentum, is to share as early as you possibly can.

3. Come prepared with rationale. When you do share, be prepared to explain why you've done what you've done. It can be surprisingly easy to lose your rationale along the way, and just let the work build upon itself. Sometimes you'll even land in a good spot that way. And, honestly, it can be a great feeling to just work through a problem. When this happens, go back and interrogate your work and find that rationale. You'll need it to explain to others when they have questions.

4. Come prepared for questions. You should always be expecting questions, and, frankly, if you don't get any, especially early on, you should probably see that as a red flag. Questions are core to design work, and you should want them. They can sometimes seem like a negative inditement of your work, but that absolutely shouldn't be the case. Prepare for them, get comfortable with them, but don't feel like you need to have all the answers. If your work uncovers more questions than answers, that can be a good thing. An opportunity.

5. Come with questions of your own. At the start of the design process, you'll likely have a lot of ideas, and a lot of questions. It's a designer’s job to try and answer those questions with ideas. When presenting your work, when looking for feedback or validation, you should also be bringing along questions you're looking to have answers to.

6. Come prepared to defend your work. Don't be afraid to push back. As you're bouncing ideas around, sharing your work, and asking questions, you're bound to generate some friction. For the most part, this is good, but occasionally you'll be challenged. When this happens, one option that you should keep open is to challenge back and you should use that option if you feel strongly that what you're doing is good or has truth or merit to it. Too often good work is compromised, or worse, because of a strong opinion or challenge to it. If you think there is something to what you're doing, stand up for your work.

7. Don't fake it 'till you make it. I know some people disagree with this, but one thing I love about my work is that, when you really do it well, you uncover the truth. You uncover problems. In my mind, being honest about your lack of confidence, and being vulnerable with your work, is one of the best ways to raise confidence in the end.

Hopefully, something in here is helpful to you, even if it’s just a timely reminder of something you already know.

Not all of this advice is relevant to all people or situations. Most of it isn't strictly relevant to design, but I'm fairly confident that you can make all of these things work for you, and they can help you build confidence, and, most of the time, make your work better.

The Rad Road: Learning Blender 3D

A couple of weeks ago I picked up an introductory course on 3D modeling from Polygon Runway and have been slowly working through it. The lessons are very much “learn by doing” which is working well for me, and I’ve been very impressed with how easy Blender is to use. During the holidays I expect I’ll have a lot more time and hope to share something more original soon. For now, here’s a render from the second section of the course.